May 24, 2022
As much as we may try, we can’t avoid conflict and have healthy relationships. In this episode with Marriage & Family Therapist Ann Taylor McNiece, we’re sharing some skills to help you engage in healthy discussion and avoid conflict that destroys. While most of this conversation is focused on spouses, these communication skills will impact every relationship in your life and change the dynamic of your household.
Key points from our conversation:
💍 All marriages struggle, but you can choose to engage in a way that shows honor or one that causes destruction. The first 5 to 7 years of marriage are hard with the hardest being the year when you have your first child.
❤️ A sound relationship begins on the firm foundation of knowing each other. Partners should begin by building a “Love Map,” which is the essential guide to your partner’s inner world. In an ideal relationship, you and your partner know each other better than anyone else. Start by listening to each other one minute at a time.
💋 Couples need to be comfortable talking about sex outside the bedroom. You’re also going to need to be able to talk to your kids about sex.
😡 Before engaging in a conflict discussion, emotionally self-regulate so that you can approach the other person softly. A hard approach can cause unwanted conflict. Don’t have conversations when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
🕒 When you feel yourself moving out of your tolerance window, set a time and place to revisit the conversation.
🧠 Teach kids coping skills to use when flooded such as listening to music, watching a funny video on YouTube, or calling a friend.
The “four horsemen” of conflict:
Resources Mentioned:
When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love